facts of life

lara hati

lara hati

sayu dan sendu

tanpa suara

berkocak dalam jiwa

pedih pilu

dalam kotak hati

meronta-ronta

di rantai penuh syahdu

emosi

resah

hadapi jua

ketabahan peneman segalanya....

Flower girl on Yun's big day

semlm adalah hari perkahwinan anak saudara hubby yun yg jatuhnya pada tarikh ulangtahun kami yg ke 17..

my little princess nazwa telah menjadi flower girl pada hari itu, together with her two nieces damia n hana..keseronokannya telah bermula sejak berbulan2 yg lalu hingga saat aku belikan dia d dress aka gown, barulah aku tidak diganggu dengan soalan yg sama setiap hari pasal baju yg perlu dipakai for d day..

she recall that i told her once that d wedding will be in june, so every week without fail she will ask me n ask me whether the june is already coming or not..

betapa leganya when day comes, no more q&a...

for Yun n Epul selamat pengantin baru dari mak usu sekeluarga, semuga dipanjang jodoh dan bahagia menempuh alam perkahwinan,erm nampaknya every year we will celebrate our anivessary together gether hehe...

some of d photos on the day....

the over excited flower girl

happy annivesary yg ke 17

yesterday was our 17th wedding annivesary; its not that i forgot to post entry on this but i really busy with hubby's niece wedding, which also falled on our big day...tu yg baru nak post d entry pasal our big day

d funny thing was that, we shared the bride n groom's wedding cake; sebab x sempat nak beli..

anyway...come back to our story..flashback to 21 years ago.. i ve been friend with hubby secara kebetulan je n it had begun with one phone call..actually his bro is my abang angkat best fren at the uni...one day i called his house number n wanted to talk to his bro- to convey a message to my abang angkat but he was d one who picked up the call..was told that his bro just left d house & went back to uni..n we talked for few minutes; suddenly from there, our relationship as a fren has started;

we dont really into couple until about a year later..before that i ada introduced him to one of my good fren with an intention to arrange a special relationship between them,until one day, we went out together with my fren n his fren, to meet them up for a first date..on that day,tetiba i felt something wrong with my feelings when i saw them walked, talked n sit together (masa tu jadi escort)hati sayu je...kononlah

went home..he called me and asked me is that wat i want..matched him with my fren; he said that he cant accept my fren ..he wanted me & a special relationship with me not with my fren..hahaha

sebab i yg menjadi tukang match so i rasa x baiklah kan buat my fren terkeciwa so i asked my fren whether she actually likes him or not..my fren said that she did that coz i wanted her to do so but told me that she has no feeling pada dia..so to make this story short (hehe) lama-kelamaan i accepted him once em sure of my feelings that i did like him too and falls in love with him..

if em not mistaken we became close sekitar penghujung tahun 1988..when he was in his first year at UTM; still remember that we used to break up for about 7 months due to salah faham..end 1989 i pulak further studied @UITM n somewhere in february 1990; i saje gatal called his house number, still remembered that waktu tu his niece pick up d phone and when i asked her whether i can talk to him, she asked me "are u xxx"..berdetap hati i coz i did not know that he has someone else..

dengan rasa keciwa, i wrote him a letter n asked him the actual story..who was that xxx...received a reply from him, told me everything..we met up a month later n continue our relationship;until he graduated n when i was in third year, kami bertunang pd 17th march 1993.

after known each other for about 6 years and two months after my graduation; we were got married on 4th june 1994..

we were gifted with four kids..three girls and a boy...bermacam cerita suka duka menemani ikatan perkahwinan yg kami bina selama ini...penuh suka duka...penuh ranjau...dan itulah asam garam kehidupan suami isteri..mendekatkan hubungan kami..menyemarakkan kasih sayang...walaupun ada perselisihan, pertelagahan namun semuanya adalah dugaan kepada kekukuhan rumahtangga dan ujian kesabaran antara kami...

he is special; special in many ways even though ada kekurangannya...no one is perfect..neither him or me .. em not d best person maybe for him but i always do d best for him..even though dgn kekurangan yg ada pada i tetapi no one can dispute or challenge kesetiaan dan kasih syg i pada dia..he is also a caring dad to d kids..he loves his kids soooo much n i know that,he alwaz want to do d best n give d best to his kids..itu yg penting, kerana my kids takkan putus menikmati kasih sayang dan sentiasa mendapat perhatian dari dia..thats wat i alwaz pray for!!

thanks dear ; we have been together for 17 years..share everything the sadness n happiness, the sweetness n bitterness-harta benda bukan segalanya (walaupun perlu ada) yg penting kasih sayang akan berkekalan, sentiasa bersemarak, kejujuran menjadi landasan perhubungan dan kesetiaan yang dipertahankan..

alwaz luv u from d bottom of my heart, muga jodoh dan kash syg antara kita kekal hingga ke akhir hayat..

"mid weekday n weekend hubby"

suddenly i terkenangkan my hubby..

since i worked in melaka, we live separately-me n kids here while he is staying in our old house in bandar baru nilai...

but we have make an arrangement that he will be back here twice a week, normally on wednesday and friday after work..kiranya my hubby jadi mid weekday n weekend husband..(?????!!!)

now, after we have sold our house my hubby has rented a room to stay for the days yg dia x balik melaka..

feels pity on him when he says that his life is sort of tak teratur..x pernah since married he live in such a way-hidup bujang..makan di kedai, baju di kedai dobi..(once in a while he will bring back his clothes for me to wash n iron)

we have been married for 17 years..this coming 4th june will be our 17th wedding annivesary.demi anak2 n for a better and harmony life, this is our life journey which we had chosen..i really hope this will not be permanent as he already applied for the KUP's post and will try his best to get a transfer to melaka or somewhere nearby when the application get through..

sometime i find our life quite hard without him around especially to manage our four kids..i always lost control of my emotion n if there was something on, he always willing to be around untuk tolong settlekan..sometimes he talked a lot with the kids, scolding them, mumbling etc..

but he alwaz be a great hubby n responsible father...

my 1st year at pknm

suddenly remember of my first year working at pknm..

how i wish to be employed by govt or state govt last time..n rezeki Allah, i was offered to join pknm a year ago...

before that i worked with a subsidiary of a public listed company, a well known housing developer in n9 for almost 13 years, but i dont get much benefit there..people will ask, how come u can be there for so long even u r not happy...frankly speaking i dont really think about myself, i sacrifice my feeling n happiness n joy..d office was near my house n convenient for me to fetch my kids from school n monitor them..that were some of d reasons y i still stay..

i felt so much on discrimination..in terms of appreciation, bonus, increment-i know i contribute a lot but the management did not recognised that.. i cant hold that anymore; y i should stay..

n later i was told by my BIL that there is a vacancy @pknm, y dont i try my luck...

finally i was employed, thanks God, i came back to my home town...even though i temporarily have to leave hubby n survive my life with all d kids here...i guess i made a right decision..

well i love working here, more privacy, more powerful (hahaha, compared to last time) new environment new things...

wish me all d best n good luck here, hope this is my last stop..

wat a burden???

kekadang i do not understand y some people are having sort of last minute habit to complete their job or task or assignment; watever they name it..when they cant finish that, then they will find their victim to complete it...

it happened to me when i was instructed to finish the paper work which em not so familiar with the head n tail of the paper...n d worst part is that paper work needs to be presented during our Board Meeting next week..

the needs to complete the paper work came within this person knowledge since last month, however until todate, it is not ready..

in this scenario, if u r in my shoe, u will definetely feel stress, i tell u..especially when u r lack of facts n knowledge of the subject matter;

tetapi oleh kerana such person gradenya lebih tinggi daripada u, n much more senior than u, would u say no????

fine, wat i do is that i just help this person and did it as much as i can BUT i left it uncomplete, for the part or area yg i x sure, pass back to this person to finalise...at least my efforts were there, also people can appreciate my co-operation..end product is not on me,thats for sure

its ur responsibilty, finish it and answer for it...................